Being told that your beautiful daughter Chiara wouldn’t be able to walk or talk must have been absolutely devastating. How did you and your husband come to terms with this news, and then adjust to the realities of what it meant to you and your family?
In the beginning, the reality of Chiara’s diagnosis felt like too much to bare. It was heartbreaking. I cried for what seemed like an eternity. Yet, I also had to try and put on a brave face for my elder daughter, Grace, who was only three years old at the time.
It was such a messy time of anger, grief, sadness and fear, on repeat. I was an absolute mess. I was exhausted because Chiara hardly slept, and I never had the opportunity to rest during the day as we were either at a therapy, such as physiotherapy, or the hospital.
Despite all the challenges, my husband, Mauro, and I have always been united in our mission to give it our all, in terms of helping Chiara reach her full potential. We focussed on every single therapy you can imagine. We both scaled back our work so we could try and change her fate. Five years on and hundreds of therapies later, both locally and internationally, I am so proud of what we have achieved as a family. Not only have we embraced our family life, we are living life to its fullest. The joy and happiness we experience now far outweighs those early devastating diagnosis days.
It must have been incredibly confronting and put an enormous stress on your relationship. How did you get through these challenges? How has it made you stronger?
The strain on our marriage was enormous—it felt so unfair at times. We were both pushed to levels of exhaustion, with broken sleep and a crazy amount of anxiety and fear. We had to call 000 a few times when she wouldn’t breathe properly or some other scary medical complication.
When you don’t have anyone to blame, you can very easily turn on each other. You are under a lot of pressure, and support for parents is so limited—it’s a huge concern. We had many arguments, and lots of, ‘I’m sorry,’ and, ‘Let’s try again’.
We got through because no matter what happened, we were always united in our mission to help Chiara. We also had another beautiful daughter, Grace, to love and care for, and our commitment to our girls made us stronger.
How do you and your husband practically manage the work-life juggle? What changes have you and your husband made to make it work for you and your family?
Such a good question! We have made massive adjustments to our work-life. I actually had to close down my yoga teaching business as I spent most of my time at the hospital. Mauro cut back his hours too: we couldn’t manage otherwise.
To be honest, it’s only now that Chiara has started school that we are able to look at getting back into the workforce in a much greater capacity. We also have to be realistic, as Chiara requires 100% care for all her basic human needs. So, we need to make sure we balance our health, our work, and the fact that we are her primary carers—for the rest of her life.
Flexibility within the workplace is paramount for parents raising children with additional needs. Hospital and therapy appointments run on weekdays, and your child’s health can change suddenly and without notice.
What advice would you have for other parents facing a similar situation?
Reach out for support straight away, and set up your village. Stay on top of your health, both physically and emotionally. I highly recommend professional support in the beginning, such a counsellor, psychologist or other form of healing modalities.
Most of all I would say this, from my heart to theirs:
What you are about to embark on will change your life. It will expand your capacity for compassion and resilience. It will connect you with incredible people that you would have otherwise never met. It will redefine your sense of self and belief. You'll expand your knowledge and be motivated more than ever to create change. You'll be challenged—a lot—yet you will also be courageous, determined, strong and beautifully humbled. Your life will have new meaning.So, tell us about Miracle Mama and what you hope to achieve. I had a grand plan for motherhood; I think we all do. My daughter’s diagnosis definitely wasn’t part of it. I needed support after such a shock diagnosis and I found very little, so I created something that I needed: community and support. I’m on a mission to create conscious change for mothers raising children with a disability or diagnosis. I built an incredible program which is literally changing lives, one special-needs-mama at a time. I help them to find peace and purpose in their extraordinary yet challenging motherhood journeys. I also created The Miracle Project to give mums a platform to share their story. Together, they are full of courage, hope, resilience and, yes, even a bit of humour. I was recently invited to be a keynote speaker in the USA, so my impact is reaching families all over the world. I aim to be the bridge between the gap from the initial shock of diagnosis to living your most fulfilling family life! How has becoming a mother changed your perspective on life? Has it made you more or less ambitious? More ambitious! I’ve always been very driven but this experience has ignited something far greater than I ever imagined. I feel so fuelled with passion, and at the heart of everything I do is my daughter Chiara. I’m a huge advocate for creating change for all children and families living with challenges like ours.
What skill or talent do you not have but wish you did? To sing! I’d love to belt out some tunes that are actually in key!
If you could only go to one holiday destination for the rest of your natural life, what would it be? Ikaria, a beautiful island in Greece.
Favourite time of the day is…sunrise.
Instagram sites that inspire you…@glennondoyle; @timesupnow; @petajean_; and @engagingwomen.
I’m happiest when…I feel aligned, on purpose, and I am having fun with family and friends.
I’m addicted to…jumping on my bike and riding along the bay.
Favourite wardrobe staple for work…active wear—not because I teach yoga that often anymore, but because I can coach, write and relax and then jump on my bike after a coaching call with a client!
Favourite wardrobe staple for weekend…through Melbourne winter it’s been my adidas sneakers and my pink Patagonia puffer jacket—comfy and cosy.
My role model is…Frida Kahlo.
Heels or flats? Flats for day-to-day, and I totally rock a heel when it’s time to party!
All photography by Emma Wise Photography.
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